Bookfail: World of Weird Books » BOOK TITLE FAIL

Street Boners

Guy Montag — Wed, 26 May 2010 02:28:35 +0000

Street Boners by Gavin McInnes (Amazon)

The ostentatiously titled Street Boners is actually a picture book of NYC hipster fashion that’s going on sale in just 2 days. Written my magazine maven and fashion critic Gavin McGinness, this edition is sure to contain multiple fashion fails, as well as wins.

Related reading – The Mullet: The Hairstyle of the Gods, and Knitting With Dog Hair: Better A Sweater From A Dog You Know and Love Than From A Sheep You’ll Never Meet

Caffeine Killed My Family: Best Free Cure since Jesus Christ Himself

Guy Montag — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 07:33:20 +0000

Caffeine Killed My Family: Best Free Cure since Jesus Christ Himself by Lynette Ann Yount (Amazon)

I was trolling Amazon for caffeine pills earlier today, when I stumbled upon this gem of a title. While I in no way intend to make light of anyone suffering from Huntington’s disease, which it seems like this book is partly about (or any other illness for that matter), anyone who zealously praises Jesus Christ on a literal level gets my fail vote. Here’s what the author had to say in the description.

My book is intended to save the lives of the globe from my illness now that I what caused it. … Caffeine killed my ancestors. Caffeine production across the planet must be stopped. … The other chapters in my book are illnesses that have similar symptoms. I will not know if the experiment will work until we try it. A caffeine concentration sensor could be made and we could go back on caffeine.

It looks like the book was published fairly recently, in July of 2008, and unfortunately there are no reviews as of yet.

P.S. Bookfail is now featured on Typeracer, that zany typing competition website. So the next time you’re exercising your fingers you could be typing up a quote from Zen of Farting.

How to Good-bye Depression: If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday. Malarkey? or Effective Way?

Guy Montag — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 07:17:44 +0000

How to Good-bye Depression: If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday. Malarkey? or Effective Way? by Hiroyuki Nishigaki (Amazon)

Most people perform pelvic floor exercises to avert prolapse, or to experience mindblowingly powerful orgasms. In case you are in no imminent danger of either, you now have a perfectly valid reason to join the Kegel Revolution.

I recommend performing pelvic floor muscle exercise while browsing this website. Disclaimer: I am not a doctor.

Submited by Oddbooks.co.uk

Stupid White Men: …And Other Sorry Excuses for the State of the Nation!

Guy Montag — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 06:34:54 +0000

Stupid White Men: …And Other Sorry Excuses for the State of the Nation! by Michael Moore (Amazon)

I vowed to myself that Bookfail would be an equal opportunity review site, and this is the answer to my earlier post about Bill O’Reilly’s The O’rielly Factor for Kids. Apparently, Mr. Moore doesn’t think that racism, sexism, or the condascending pandering inherent in the title are part of the problem. Naturally, one of the first villains in the book is Katherine Harris, that cross-dressing former secretary of state from Florida!

I’m Barack, Not Borat!

Guy Montag — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 10:01:37 +0000

I’m Barack, Not Borat! by Christopher Jansen (Amazon)

Some say to not judge a book by its cover, but in the case of I’m Barack, Not Borat! there is hardly anything else to judge it by. Yes, the book is completely filled with blank pages, and its only conceivable uses are as a paper weight or a coffee table decoration piece. You could turn it into a secret stash by hollowing out the inner pages, but for $24.99 you might as well find something that is less conspicous, and has a hardcover binding.

The real problem with this book, however, isn’t the marginally pathetic attempt at a sensationalist cover, nor the fact that the paperback copy costs three times as much Barrack Obama’s original bestseller, The Audacity of Hope. No, the real travesty lies in its unfairness to other authors, like Reepah Gud Wan, who composed a novel about flatulence as told by a fictional Buddhist master, or Kathleen Meyer, who wrote not one, but two books of stories about going to the bathroom in the outdoors. The real crime is against those authors who set out to create a book with a shocking and attention-grabbing title, and were forced actually sit down write the book.

It is truly shocking that somebody would do something like this, and on behalf of all the real authors out there, I have only one thing to say to Christopher Jansen. How dare you!

Identity Crisis Fail

Guy Montag — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 01:52:15 +0000

I Am Not Spock by Leonard Nimoy (Amazon)

Two books. One author. Two diametrically opposed titles. Leonard Nimoy wrote I Am Not Spock in 1979 as an in depth look at the starring role that defined his career, as well as a broader perspective on the rest of his life. 1996 brought more of the same, but I guess Still Not Spock just didn’t cut it. So, who are you really, Mr. Nimoy?

O, Leonard, wherefore aren’t art thou Spock?

Never Threaten to Eat Your Co-Workers

Guy Montag — Sat, 30 May 2009 13:09:09 +0000

Never Threaten to Eat Your Co-Workers by Alan Graham and Donnie Burton (Amazon)

Here’s another example of a sassy, saucy book with an ironic title, akin to How to Raise Your IQ by Eating Gifted Children. If only more authors were as adroit and maverick as the men who penned the two
aforementioned works.

Submitted by Ramiro C.

Dick: A User’s Guide

Guy Montag — Sun, 03 May 2009 10:54:30 +0000

Dick: A User’s Guide by Michele C. Moore and Caroline de Costa (Amazon)

What’s with women these days? First, they want to pee standing up now. Now they are authoring manuals for male genitalia? I wonder if these women find diamonds in the ruff with this user guide.

Via: OneMinuteBookReviews

Brocabulary: The New Man-i-festo of Dude Talk

Guy Montag — Sat, 02 May 2009 09:54:22 +0000

Brocabulary: The New Man-i-festo of Dude Talk by Daniel Maurer (Amazon)

Every bro-mo‘s guide to coping with man-o-pause. Alternate title – Complete Idiot’s Guide to Becoming a Douchebag.

Satan Burger (NSFW)

Guy Montag — Sat, 02 May 2009 07:53:56 +0000

Satan Burger by Carlton Mellick III (Amazon)

I don’t know what this book is about, but it’s called Satan Burger, and it has a picture of a 1 girl 1 plate (NSFW) about to happen, so that’s good enough to be included in Bookfail.

Additional reading: The Baby Jesus Butt Plug