On behalf of Bookfail, as well as Jewish buccaneers Moses Cohen Enriques, Sinan “the Great Jewish Pirate” and Samuel Palache, I’d like to wish you all a happy Hanukkah! You can read more about this, and other uncanny books about pirates in my 10 Unexpected Books About Pirates post.

Related reading: Male Delivery: Reproduction, Effeminacy, and Pregnant Men in Early Modern Spain

The world can be such a dull and drab place – sometimes I wish there was more exuberance out there, the kind that’s evident in Sweet Jesus I Hate Bill O’Reilly. Perphaps a tv show entitled “Aren’t You Tired of ‘So You Think You Can Dance?”

Via sweetjesusihatebilloreilly.com.

Because male pregnancy isn’t noteworthy enough by itself, unless it happens in early modern Spain. You had me at ‘male delivery’, Sherry Velasco.

I was trolling Amazon for caffeine pills earlier today, when I stumbled upon this gem of a title. While I in no way intend to make light of anyone suffering from Huntington’s disease, which it seems like this book is partly about (or any other illness for that matter), anyone who zealously praises Jesus Christ on a literal level gets my fail vote. Here’s what the author had to say in the description.

My book is intended to save the lives of the globe from my illness now that I what caused it. … Caffeine killed my ancestors. Caffeine production across the planet must be stopped. … The other chapters in my book are illnesses that have similar symptoms. I will not know if the experiment will work until we try it. A caffeine concentration sensor could be made and we could go back on caffeine.

It looks like the book was published fairly recently, in July of 2008, and unfortunately there are no reviews as of yet.

P.S. Bookfail is now featured on Typeracer, that zany typing competition website. So the next time you’re exercising your fingers you could be typing up a quote from Zen of Farting.

Forget for a second that this book confronts the technical problems of a Y2K crisis that never materialized. The book’s allusions to a hoax-apolis of Biblical proportions, and an impending one-world government take the cake. Reading the customer reviews (especially the ones prior to 2000) provide much of the comic relief, and at least one reviewer gets it (or, does he?):

I strongly disagree with one of the reviewers. In it she claims that “not so much as a lightbulb” burned out on Y2K, when clearly this is a false statement!! I remember that a flourescent light in my kitchen burnt out on Y2K, thus proving that the end is near and that aforementioned reviewer will likely suffer the eternal hellfire (although God will make the final decision, of course).

If this book caught on as a television franchise, it could challenge the likes of COPS and America’s Most Wanted. Or, how about Law & Order APU (Animal Prosecution Unit)? Snoop Doggy Dogg could follow in the steps of Ice-T, play the role of a hard-nosed detective.

An unexpected book about an unexpectedly awful movie.